...i might sneeze my baby out.

I just realized that FML means fuck my life. lol. they need to make a list of every abbreviation and it's translation for idiots like me.

i feel so disconnected from the world that was once my fabulous life of going out and drinking wine and hanging out with friends who talk about interesting things and listen to interesting music and wear awesome clothes. and i don't believe that having a child (or getting ready to have a child, in my case) has anything to do with it...i think im just lazy about it. i need to be more proactive. i just hope that i haven't let my connections to this other world rot to the point of no return.

they are delicious. and cold. even though it isn't technically 'hot' outside, I am hot. All the time. So I find myself eating frozen objects a lot. And loading up my beverages with tons of crushed ice, and pretty much just eating the ice.

so, mcdonalds monopoly. im totally into it, but not into eating mcdonalds constantly. so, i've taken to offering to buy mcdonalds for people and then just keeping the tickets for myself. really could use that extra mill or $100,000. my car is slowly (finally) starting to fall apart. so, kinda need a new one, preferably before the baby gets here. so, come on, mcdonalds monopoly gods! hook it up!

Cass has taken to putting her feet on my ribs and her hands on my pelvis and trying to stretch them as far apart as they can go. There are really no words to describe this feeling, other than weird. Or alien. It doesn't hurt though, like it might sound. her room is painted, finally. It's ballet-shoe pink. like, the tan-pink leather practice ballet shoes, not like the satin toe shoes that are generally that light baby pink. i think my bro is gonna help dustin put together the crib today...its awesome, and it was free :) i LOVE free.

Soooo, New Moon....oh man, im excited. Already have my tickets, and its still a month away. I re-read the book, so I'm ready. It looks like the new director did a hell of a job, i wasn't too impressed with Twilight...i mean, it was ok, but....i dunno. i guess the book's always better. I love to pretend that I can relate to Bella...or I guess it would be more accurate to say 'could' relate to Bella. I have no more of that drama/excitement/unplanned-ness that comes with being single/unattached. In reality, I don't want it. I guess that's why reading about it is even better.

im stuck at work til 2, even though im done all the work that i can do. expect another update in an hr.

Killer dreams lately....i have no idea what they mean, and can barely remember them, but i wake up at least 3 times a night like, "wtf." and then i have to pee. because i remember there is a baby on my bladder. im officially going to start spackling her room today, it needs to dry by monday when jess and i will start painting, hopefully.

what should i be for halloween?

The only weird thing so far with my pregnancy is the CRAZY dreams...and i mean WEIRD/CRAZY. every night! i can't remember them when i wake up, just bits and pieces, but, yeah...weird.

Oh, so for those of you who don't know, or have heard thru the grapevine and are wondering, yes, i am preggers :) we are (dustin and i, that is) very VERY excited! We've been kinda sorta trying for about 6 months (i can't believe it took that long!), and just as i was starting to get a little worried, it happened. I have my first Dr. appt on the 7th, so i'll know a more exact due date (although, what due dates are ever exact is what i'd like to know), but we're guessing late december or early january, which is perfect because i wont be working, and wont start work again until that following march.

it is pretty hard right now, though, working so much because im SO TIRED all the time, and i can really do nothing about it. its not even like i dont get any sleep, i get 9-10 hours a night, i guess its just part of the process (or so i read in 'what to expect').

i deleted my myspace, too. i just got so sick of it, its too much. why do i need a facebook and a myspace when everyone that's on my myspace is also on my facebook? so yeah. done with that.

oh, and i also caved and cut my hair into a chin-length bob, which i LOVE. its so much easier and i dont have all this hair on my neck anymore, it was driving me crazy.

...but i have been inspired (after many hours of six feet under-watching) by claire to do more art. i haven't really written anything/painted MUCH of anything/took a picture of something that i thought was interesting, although i've had many oppotunities to and haven't out of the fact that i haven't had my camera....i know i still have it in me, it has just been hibernating. dormant.

my artistic switch has been flipped, so to speak.

its spring, but its cold. wtf-ing f.

my dog. i love him, but the closer his balls get to the ground, the more wound up and crazy he can be.

the same old excuses for the same old reasons from the same old people.

my back and shoulders hurting when i breathe for no reason i can think of.

the fact that i cant get into a book since twilight.

that i haven't used my sewing machine since i got it for my bday in sept.

that the dryer our landlord promised us last wk still isnt here, and dirty laundry is spilling out of the closet.

that i now have to lug loads of dirty clothes to my mom's to wash and dry.

that my brother is doing EVERYTHING he shouldn't be doing. AGAIN. just when he got ANOTHER good job.



but, you know, all these things wouldnt seem half as bad if it were warmer out.

WHYYYYYYYYY DO I READ OLD JOURNAL ENTRIES???!?!?!?!

why can he look like this ALL THE TIME? ugh.